Going ten-pin bowling never fails to provide me with some choice inspiration for comedic annecdotes.
I went the other day. Well, one day a few months ago. There was a whole range of talent on display on this particular occasion, especially in terms of bowling style.
It occurred to me that no matter how rubbish at bowling you think you are, just taking a minute out to witness what's going on around you can be a quick way to restore your self confidence.
For example, those people in the lane next to you. The gutter-barriers have been deployed for ages and they still manage to miss the pins totally. So then one of those ramp things appears. You know, the ones where you just put the ball on the top and let it go. The things that are used by tiny kids. Although, in this instance, it's a group of increasing desperate adults that are using it. After several minutes of careful lining up of the ramp and much discussion, the ball is finally released. With baited breath, the ball is observed as it makes it's painfully slow progression down the lane at approximately 0.0000000001 MPH. When those concerned realise that the outcome of this line of attack is not going to be known for at least another 45 minutes they head off to the bar to get some more drinks in and return to see the ball make contact with the pins... successfully knocking one down.
Then there's the party that go all out. This strategy involves ricocheting the ball against the gutter-barriers at full-pelt. This technique does seem to be quite successful, although the onlooker wonders whether those who use this method and get a strike are fully justified in celebrating by punching the air, almost in awe at their obvious skill at bowling.
Next time you go bowling, take a good look at how people run up to the line and deploy the ball. Variations include:
The Waddle: No reliance on the use of speed here, the concentration is purely on trying to achieve accuracey. Usually includes a pause at the line to size up the situation before bowling the ball straight into the gutter.
Banana-arm: Sadly I seem to have this affliction. No matter how much care is taken to bowl straight, ultimately at the last second the arm seems to lock fully and be wonky, causing the ball to be deposited into the gutter almost instantly.
The Catapult: The clues in the name here; the bowler swings the ball forward so much that it takes flight and finally makes contact with the floor about half way down the alley. This is actually quite a good technique to use, as the less time the ball is on the alley, the less chance it has of veering off into the gutter. Best not to use it if alley staff are in the vicinity as it probably dents the lane. I've had good results employing this. Apart for the time I combined it with Banana-am and the ball ended up in the lane next door but one to mine.
The Reverse-Catapult: Same as above, except the ball is deployed backwards into the group of innocent bystanders. Risk of injury.
The Human Cannon Ball: A technique I discovered. It involves running up to the line, slipping onto knees and sliding down lane towards pins. Incurs a penalty: only to be used if all else fails.
At one of my local bowling joints, they decide that bowling obviously isn't hard enough and turn the lights out at certain times, only leaving tiny lights on down the lanes. It's like some wierd ninja-bowling thing. I went to complain to the staff and they pointed out it was actually past closing time.
Now that I've probably made you all paranoid about how you bowl, I'm going to move on to some other things.
It's been a busy few months for me, with lots of stuff going on so I'm going to quickly sum things up so you're all in the know.
>>> The situation when I last posted was that I was waiting to see if my application to study medicine had been successful. I'm stoked to tell you all that in mid April I received and accepted an unconditional offer from University of Warwick. So I'll be starting on 8th September! Very, very excited and busy sorting stuff out!
>>> After my initial good start to training for the Great Yorkshire Run (which happens to be on Sept 7th, so day before I start at Warwick!! Eek!) I was a bit slack and the training trailed off but I'm now putting effort in and been doing a fair bit of training the past couple of weeks. It's been going OK, I don't think I'll be breaking any records for the run, but it'll be my first 10K, and it'll give me a good base to build on for future events. I'm having a few days rest at the 'mo, got an ankle twinge and an old knee injury is playing up- oa injury on each leg so not even limping as it's all evened out! Hoping to put my running shoes back on come Monday at the latest.
>>> There seems to be some wierd religious cult thing that has obviously taken a likely to my blog name and pinched it for their website. Please remember that my address is http:// and not just www. I've tried to see about changing my blog address but I can't do it without starting from scratch and losing my archived work. This issue was brought up when someone clicked the link to my blog from my JustGiving page and ended up on the cult website but I think I may have sorted it now.
That's all for now folks!
Over and out
NLO
I went the other day. Well, one day a few months ago. There was a whole range of talent on display on this particular occasion, especially in terms of bowling style.
It occurred to me that no matter how rubbish at bowling you think you are, just taking a minute out to witness what's going on around you can be a quick way to restore your self confidence.
For example, those people in the lane next to you. The gutter-barriers have been deployed for ages and they still manage to miss the pins totally. So then one of those ramp things appears. You know, the ones where you just put the ball on the top and let it go. The things that are used by tiny kids. Although, in this instance, it's a group of increasing desperate adults that are using it. After several minutes of careful lining up of the ramp and much discussion, the ball is finally released. With baited breath, the ball is observed as it makes it's painfully slow progression down the lane at approximately 0.0000000001 MPH. When those concerned realise that the outcome of this line of attack is not going to be known for at least another 45 minutes they head off to the bar to get some more drinks in and return to see the ball make contact with the pins... successfully knocking one down.
Then there's the party that go all out. This strategy involves ricocheting the ball against the gutter-barriers at full-pelt. This technique does seem to be quite successful, although the onlooker wonders whether those who use this method and get a strike are fully justified in celebrating by punching the air, almost in awe at their obvious skill at bowling.
Next time you go bowling, take a good look at how people run up to the line and deploy the ball. Variations include:
The Waddle: No reliance on the use of speed here, the concentration is purely on trying to achieve accuracey. Usually includes a pause at the line to size up the situation before bowling the ball straight into the gutter.
Banana-arm: Sadly I seem to have this affliction. No matter how much care is taken to bowl straight, ultimately at the last second the arm seems to lock fully and be wonky, causing the ball to be deposited into the gutter almost instantly.
The Catapult: The clues in the name here; the bowler swings the ball forward so much that it takes flight and finally makes contact with the floor about half way down the alley. This is actually quite a good technique to use, as the less time the ball is on the alley, the less chance it has of veering off into the gutter. Best not to use it if alley staff are in the vicinity as it probably dents the lane. I've had good results employing this. Apart for the time I combined it with Banana-am and the ball ended up in the lane next door but one to mine.
The Reverse-Catapult: Same as above, except the ball is deployed backwards into the group of innocent bystanders. Risk of injury.
The Human Cannon Ball: A technique I discovered. It involves running up to the line, slipping onto knees and sliding down lane towards pins. Incurs a penalty: only to be used if all else fails.
At one of my local bowling joints, they decide that bowling obviously isn't hard enough and turn the lights out at certain times, only leaving tiny lights on down the lanes. It's like some wierd ninja-bowling thing. I went to complain to the staff and they pointed out it was actually past closing time.
Now that I've probably made you all paranoid about how you bowl, I'm going to move on to some other things.
It's been a busy few months for me, with lots of stuff going on so I'm going to quickly sum things up so you're all in the know.
>>> The situation when I last posted was that I was waiting to see if my application to study medicine had been successful. I'm stoked to tell you all that in mid April I received and accepted an unconditional offer from University of Warwick. So I'll be starting on 8th September! Very, very excited and busy sorting stuff out!
>>> After my initial good start to training for the Great Yorkshire Run (which happens to be on Sept 7th, so day before I start at Warwick!! Eek!) I was a bit slack and the training trailed off but I'm now putting effort in and been doing a fair bit of training the past couple of weeks. It's been going OK, I don't think I'll be breaking any records for the run, but it'll be my first 10K, and it'll give me a good base to build on for future events. I'm having a few days rest at the 'mo, got an ankle twinge and an old knee injury is playing up- oa injury on each leg so not even limping as it's all evened out! Hoping to put my running shoes back on come Monday at the latest.
>>> There seems to be some wierd religious cult thing that has obviously taken a likely to my blog name and pinched it for their website. Please remember that my address is http:// and not just www. I've tried to see about changing my blog address but I can't do it without starting from scratch and losing my archived work. This issue was brought up when someone clicked the link to my blog from my JustGiving page and ended up on the cult website but I think I may have sorted it now.
That's all for now folks!
Over and out
NLO
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